Wednesday, May 8, 2013

The 5 Stages: #3 - Bargaining

Bargaining with yourself is a losing operation.  for starters, I never believe myself.

If I give up eating out, I would be able to afford a trip to theatre?  Please.  Like I can't figure out a way to do both!

So if I laze around watching TV every evening because my back doesn't hurt doing that, it means my back is going to be fine doing that forever, right?  Not so right.  The last thing a back with scoliosis needs is lazing around.  It might end up with permanent lazing, which may sound like a holiday but it is not for me!  My clinic term includes a few teenagers who are still growing. They get a bit distracted by the others, or their hair, or something.  And they get bored doing repetition after repetition of exercises that require real effort.  What I can't do but want to is sit them down and lovingly say "Suck it up!" 

Even with less active work taking place, I see them standing a little straighter after only two weeks.  Their bodies are still so young and their muscles so pliable that changes happen quickly.  For the rest of us dealing with bodies that have had decades of weakened muscles and overstretched muscles and bendy bones, it requires much more effort to make changes.

So it's no good asking "Why me?", because "Why not me?" 

And before I get on that road of 'if I do this, then maybe this will happen', I have to stop myself and remember that all the really wonderful things that have happened to me (other than being born when, where and to whom, which was just luck) happened because I got into the trenches and slogged it out. 

You can only successfully bargain with someone who is in a position to provide what you want.  And with scoliosis, the only one that can do that is me. And I know that I must drive a hard bargain to get something of real value - a body that works for as well and as long as possible.

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